Today on this section I decided to go a little personal.I have always wanted to put up this post but I didn't have enough courage to do so.To some,this post may be "telling too much" but to me it's therapy.

I will specially like to dedicate this to everyone that has lost someone dear to them in any way and to let them know that they are not alone.

I wrote this in July,2012...almost a month after losing my father as it was the only way I could let go of the pain...and that was the first day I actually cried because I kept telling myself not to cry,that I needed to be strong until the pain was too much and I learned that it was okay to cry.

I am typing this just the way I wrote it down...no editing.So here goes...

"The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone"
Harriet Stone 

Well,they are part of your life,your happiness.Love has a way of holding it all together.Some you get to love more than others,people you never think of losing;But they'll always come that time when they disappear right in front of you.And as much as you try or cry,there's just nothing you can do and that's what hurts the most.

When you lose someone,it stays with you,reminding you how easy it is to get hurt.It leaves you with that feeling that nothing is worth anything afterall.There's always that expectation of being disappointed because what is the use of hoping on to something when you know that someday it will be taken away from you and no one would care what you think.It hurts...life hurts.

I never truly understood what it felt like to lose someone.I knew it was a bad feeling,but the 'real' feeling...that was something  I never knew until it happened.UNTIL I lost my dad.He died on a very peaceful day.Who would have thought that death would ever visit us.I can still remember the tears on my younger brother's eyes as he held my dad and kept saying "daddy please don't leave us" and my other two younger brothers cried with him.It's a memory I know would never be erased for as long as I live.

You see,death brings out those feeling you never want to experience...it breaks you and brings you unbearable pain.All I could do was kneel down and pray while my friend ran outside the house and cried her eyes out.In every situation...give praise to the Lord.

Six months after the burial of her father,little did my mother know her husband would be next.But so strong a woman is she...so strong you couldn't help but admire.
The nights were lonely after that,and you could feel that something was missing.... 

In life,there will always be people you had that you wish were still alive...and my dad was one of such.What breaks my heart the most is that he wouldn't be around to give away his daughters to their husbands or escort his sons to get a wife.God bless your soul for your legacy will forever live on.

As was said during the court session of your burial: "He may not be described as the richest in terms of wealth,but in living a good life and in happiness;he had it to the full"

I do have to move on.But am human,I feel.So sometimes it's okay to cry.Now I live each day like it's my first and cherish each moment like it's my last,for when I look at it;life is a journey.One filled with series of emotions...of which pain and happiness reside.We still hold on strong.Other people survived it and we will too....

I used to wonder why thing are the way they are;but not anymore.I leave it all for God because he knows everything and I am safe with him.He knows best and will never give us a load too heavy for us too carry.I have also learned to rest in quiet places now and then,and to leave behind the things I no longer need to carry like grudges,pain,sorrow and regret.But it still hurts...to remind me am human.

Dear Daddy,I do not doubt that where you are is better because even till your last breath,you kept calling on Jesus...because you know you are safe in his arms.

Like Joan Baez said...  
"We do not get to choose how we are going to die or when,we can only decide how we are going to live"
So incase you are going through any form of hurt or pain,I will tell you this....IT WILL BE ALRIGHT


Thank you all for the constant love and support...God bless you...and please know that your comments bring joy to my heart.